Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Cults


Teen cults claim many victims each year

Every year thousands of teens across the country become ensnared in the dangerous and misunderstood world of cults. These hazardous entities prey on the uncertainty and alienation that many teens feel and use those feelings to attract unsuspecting teens into their cult traps. As a figurehead in the world of parent teen relations, Sue Scheff™ knows the danger of cults and teenagers’ susceptibility to their temptations. Sue Scheff™ believes that like many other teen\ ailments, the best defense against the world of cults is through education.

No teen actually joins a cult, they join a religious movement or a political organization that reaches out to the feelings of angst or isolation that many troubled teen’s experience. Over time, this group gradually reveals its true cultish nature, and before teens know it, they are trapped in a web they can’t untangle.

With the strong rise in teen internet usage, cults have many ways to contact children and brainwash them. Sue Scheff™ knows the dark side of the internet from her experience with teenage internet addiction, and she understands it is also an avenue for cults to infiltrate teenage brains.

Cults have long been represented in the mass media. The supporters of Reverend Jim Jones People’s Temple may be some of the most famous cult members, making global headlines when they died in the hundreds after drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. Almost 300 of the dead Jones supporters were teens and young children. Heavens Gate is another well known cult, which believed ritual suicide would ensure their journey behind the Hale-Bopp comet with Jesus. Heavens Gate lived in a strict communal environment, funding their cult endeavors through web site development. Some male members of the cult even castrated themselves before all 36 committed suicide, wearing matching sweat suits and Nike tennis shoes.

It is clear that despite the ridiculous and bizarre nature of many cults, parents can’t ignore the power and resourcefulness of these groups. Cult ideas may seem to loony to take seriously, but they can have real power when used against troubled teenagers, the exact type of teens that Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates have been working to keep safe.

Cult influence should not be taken lightly, especially when living with a troubled teen. Parents may not think of cults as a problem because they don’t hear about them a lot, but that’s the key to cult success. The livelihood of teen cults relies on staying out of the public eye and in the shadows. The Heaven’s Gate and People’s Temple cults didn’t truly gain public notice until after their suicides, and by then it was too late to save their followers.

The danger of teen cults is real, but parents can help ensure their teenagers’ safety by staying informed and communicating with their children. Sue Scheff™ presents a site with important information about different types of cults that target teens, warning signs of cult attendance, and ways to help prevent your teen from becoming involved in a cult. Knowledge and communication is always the first line of defense when helping a troubled teen.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Feingold Program



The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" became a household word, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common. Used originally as a diet for allergies, improvement in behavior and attention was first noticed as a "side effect." It is a reasonable first step to take before (or with if already begun) drug treatment for any of the symptoms listed on the Symptoms page.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone



Seven expert strategies to help single parents raise confident, successful children with ADHD.



ADDitude Magazine offers great information for parents and adults of ADD/ADHD. As a single parent with an ADHD child, this article offers a lot of insight.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Summer is Almost Here!



It is the time of year that many summer programs are actually filling up!


Finding a good summer programs, such as Leadership Programs, can help your child build their self esteem to make better choices as well as motivate them to reach their highest potential.
If your child is starting to struggling in school, whether it is peer pressure or other issues, you may want to consider summer alternatives.


CAMP FINDERS is a fantastic resource for parents and a free service to help you find the perfect camp to fit your child's interest.
Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sue Scheff - LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA - Great Website for Parents and Kids


Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Girls Dating Older Boys


“Girls, definitely, tell me that they feel like they have to do the sexual requests, they have to honor the sexual requests of their boyfriends, or they will get dumped. And there are a lot of girls that are feeling pressure that way.”

– Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., licensed psychologist

Typically, parents worry when their daughters begin dating, but they really worry when their daughter goes out with an older boy. According to a recent study, parents have good reason to be concerned.

Sarah is 19 and her boyfriend is 22.

“Because I am dating an older guy … I am more open to alcohol, just because I can ask him, ‘Hey, can you go to the store and buy me something?’” says Sarah Lim, 19.

She says another risk of dating an older guy is being pressured into having sex.

“I think a lot of guys, especially in high school, will go for younger girls just because they’ll give it up, you know,” says Lim.

In fact, according to a study by the non-profit group Child Trends, one in five girls has dated a boy at least three years older than she, and 10 percent say they’ve had sex with an older boy before they turned 16.

“Girls, definitely, tell me that they feel like they have to do the sexual requests, they have to honor the sexual requests of their boyfriends, or they will get dumped. And there are a lot of girls that are feeling pressure that way,” says Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.

What’s more, according to the study, girls who date older guys are less likely to use protection, more likely to become pregnant, and twice as likely to acquire a sexually transmitted disease (STD).

“Frequently, the younger girl is naïve. Sometimes she doesn’t have the assertiveness to stand up for herself and demand that a condom be used,” says McGarrah.

“When guys are older…girls will trust them. ‘Oh, he knows what he’s talking about. He has more experience,’” says Lim.

Experts say parents need to set ground rules, such as they can only date someone one grade above or below, and only go on group dates until they’re 16. And if your daughter argues, experts say:

“Explain to them that you trust them and you know that they are a mature person, but at the same time there are different levels of maturity. And just like they are not ready to get married, they are not ready to have babies, they are also not ready to be in relationships with people significantly older than they are,” says McGarrah.

Tips for Parents

When a boyfriend or girlfriend uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it's an important warning sign of verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Ask yourself, does my boyfriend or girlfriend: (Nemours Foundation)

Get angry when I don't drop everything for him or her?

Criticize the way I look or dress, and say I'll never be able to find anyone else who would date me?

Keep me from seeing friends or from talking to any other guys or girls?

Want me to quit an activity, even though I love it?

Ever raise a hand when angry, like he or she is about to hit me?

Try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case?
Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these qualities:
Mutual respect. Does he or she “get” how cool you are and why? The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your personality, great sense of humor, love of the same movies, commitment to sports or the arts, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is — and would never challenge the other person's boundaries. (Nemours Foundation)

Trust. You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's okay to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other. (Nemours Foundation)

Support. It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart, but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play. (Nemours Foundation)

Good communication. You've probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don't seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase "no, nothing's wrong" can have, depending on who's saying it! But what's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. (Nemours Foundation)

Think about the qualities you value in a friendship and see how they match up with the ingredients of a healthy relationship. Work on developing those good qualities in yourself — they make you a lot more attractive to others. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation

Friday, April 18, 2008

Sue Scheff on The Rachael Ray Show - Hot Topic- CyberSlander


Sue Scheff continues to be a voice against CyberSlander. As both a victim and survivor of Internet Defamation, she has become a leader in promoting Cyber Safety.

On April 17th Sue Scheff appeared on the Rachael Ray Show talking about Cyber Slander and promoting her upcoming new book - Wit’s End!

Free Speech will never condone defamation. In an unprecedented jury verdict for damages, Scheff was awarded over $11Mfor the malicious and defamatory online comments from a woman that wanted E-Venge.

For more articles on E-Venge - check out http://www.suescheffpodcasts.com/. Sue Scheff retained the priceless services of Reputation Defender.

If you are a victim of Internet Abuse, take a moment to review the services Reputation Defender has to offer.

If you are a parent, it is important to consider Reputation Defender MyChild to help protect your child online.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sue Scheff Books and Recommended Reading for Parents



Everyday I speak with parents that are struggling with today’s teens and pre-teens.
Sometimes parents recommend books that have helped them and I felt it was time to start sharing these helpful books. Parent’s Universal Resource Experts is about parents helping parents.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Benefits of Abstinence with Teens


“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions.”

– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician

Regret can be a great teacher and, according to a new survey of high school students, that’s especially true when it comes to teenagers and sex.

Trey was 14 when he first had sex.

“Just the pressure -- upper classmen -- they were just ragging me on to do it, and I just fell into that trap. I fell into that peer pressure,” says Trey, 17.

Afterwards, Trey says he regretted it.

“Just the feeling, the emotions that were going through my mind…and my thoughts were, ‘What am I doing? I feel like I’m soliciting myself, I don’t know even know this girl’s name by heart,’” recalls Trey.

In a survey of high school students by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, sexually-experienced teens were twice as likely to value abstinence as teens who were virgins. It seems that it is after having sex that some kids learn the value of being abstinent.

“It’s unfortunate that they had to learn it the hard way, but one of the things that they’re realizing is that there is an alternative way: there’s a way for me to court [someone], or to get a guy that I like to court me and respect me and for me not to have sex,” says Alduan Tartt, psychologist.

Experts say another way kids can learn about the risks and complications of sex are from their parents -- not from “atalk” but with a conversation.

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.

Trey says he’s choosing abstinence now and it feels right.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t have to worry about if you have an STD. You’re just focused on your goals,” says Trey.

Tips for Parents

Abstinence is defined as not having sex. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex. (Nemours Foundation)

Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can fail occasionally. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg. (Nemours Foundation)

Only complete and consistent abstinence can totally protect against STDs. Because a person does not have any type of intimate sexual contact when he or she practices complete abstinence, there is no risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection. (Nemours Foundation)

Don't let teasing or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that's not right for you. Research shows that the majority of teens are not having sex. (www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit)

A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. If you've made a decision not to have sex, it's an important personal choice and the people who care about you should respect that. (Nemours Foundation)

You may have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth control. Your doctor or nurse — or an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or counselor — can help provide accurate answers. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation
Children and Youth Coordinating Council (CYCC) www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit

Friday, April 4, 2008

Sue Scheff: ADHD and Drug Abuse




“In other words, [children with ADD] are no more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs than someone who doesn’t have ADD.”

– William Buchanan, Ph.D., clinical psychologist

As more and more children are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD), millions of parents must decide whether to put their kids on medication. Many worry that taking drugs today may cause children to abuse drugs later in life.

“When you hear the word ADHD you’re instantly alarmed,” says Gina Hagin, mother.

When 9-year-old Graysen first starting taking Ritalin, his mom was worried.

“Just the thought of putting your child on a narcotic for an extensive period of time is very scary,” says Hagin, Graysen’s mother.

Ritalin is actually a stimulant, and starting kids on it at early age is scary for parents for a number of reasons.

“They range from growth type of things [such as] stunted growth, which really is not the case, to things like whether this would lead to drug abuse and dependence,” says Dr. Elaine Mateo, M.D., psychiatrist.

Does it lead to later drug abuse? Doctors at Massachusetts’s General Hospital tracked more than 100 ADHD patients for 10 years. They found that the use of ADHD medicine has no impact on future substance abuse.

“In other words, they’re no more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs than someone who doesn’t have ADD,” says Dr. William Buchanan, Ph.D., clinical psychologist.

Experts caution, however, that if a child already has a substance abuse problem, parents should consult their child’s physician.

“We don’t want to make something more available to them that they can misuse. But taking the medication itself is not going to lead to a dependence,” says Mateo.

Before Ritalin, Graysen couldn’t concentrate and his grades were terrible.

“It was sometimes frustrating and I’d just want to cry,” says Graysen.

Today, he’s an A student and a happier boy.

“To see in your child’s eyes a yearning and a sadness, and then to go from that to see your child productive and happy -- you can’t replace that,” says Hagin.

Experts say it’s important to talk to your kids, even at an early age, about the exact purpose of their medicine and how it should be used

Tips for Parents

Some of the medicines for ADHD are stimulants, but instead of stimulating the person or making him or her more jittery, they help control ADHD symptoms. (Nemours Foundation)

The medicine usually comes in pills or capsules. The doctor will explain how often the child needs to take the medicine. Parents and children will have to work out a schedule for taking it so it becomes part of the normal routine, like teeth brushing. (Nemours Foundation)

Just like with any medicine, the person's parents and doctors will want to watch for side effects, which are other problems or symptoms that may be caused by the medicine. Common side effects from stimulant drugs include irritability (feeling grouchy), headaches and stomach trouble. (Nemours Foundation)

If your child is diagnosed with ADHD, you have several treatment options to consider. The most common treatment is the use of medication. Stimulant drugs, such as Ritalin, Cylert and Dexedrine, when used with medical supervision, are usually considered quite safe and effective. (National Institute of Mental Health)

Symptoms can be classified as “inattention” and “hyperactivity-impulsivity.” (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC)

“Inattentive” Symptoms (if your child shows six or more of these symptoms for six months, consult your child’s physician):

Does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities

Has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities

Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)

Has trouble organizing activities

Avoids, dislikes or does not want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework)

Loses items (toys, school assignments, pencils, books, tools, etc) needed for tasks and activities

Often easily distracted

Often forgetful in daily activities

“Hyperactivity-Impulsivity” Symptoms: (if your child shows six or more of these symptoms for at least six months, consult your child’s physician)

Fidgets with hands or feet, or squirms in seat

Gets up from seat when he/she is expected to stay seated

Runs around or climbs when and where it is not appropriate

Often has trouble playing or enjoying leisure activities quietly

Is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”

Talks excessively

Blurts out answers before questions have been finished

Has trouble waiting his or her turn

Interrupts or intrudes on others (during conversations or games, for example)

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Nemours Foundation