Sue Scheff: Teens, Parenting and Cyber Safety

Source: TeensHealth

Bullies and mean girls have been around forever, but technology has given them a whole new platform for their actions. As adults, we're becoming more aware that the "sticks and stones" adage no longer holds true; virtual name-calling can have real-world effects on the well being of kids and teens.

It's not always easy to know how and when to step in as a parent. For starters, our kids tend to use technology differently than we do. Many spend a lot of time on social networking sites, send text messages and instant messages (IMs) by the hundreds, and are likely to roll their eyes at the mention of email — that's "so old-school" to them. Their knowledge and habits can be intimidating, but they still need us as parents.

Fortunately, our growing awareness of cyberbullying has helped us learn a lot more about how to prevent it. Here are some suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child's life.

What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be clear-cut. For example, leaving overtly cruel cell phone text messages or mean notes posted to Web sites. Other acts are less obvious, such as impersonating a victim online or posting personal information or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another child.

Cyberbullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one teen's joke or sense of humor could be another's devastating insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental.

A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise.

Read more: http://teenshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/cyberbullying.html

Sue Scheff: Love our Children USA - Take Time to Reach Out and Help a Child in Need Today

LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA:

THE ISSUE:Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8 million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day 1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators, 1 out of 4 kids are bullied and 42% of kids are cyberbullied.

THE SOLUTION: PREVENTION! Getting to the root of the cause through education and changing behaviors and attitudes. Loving and nurturing children. Stopping Violence BEFORE itstarts -- creating happy and healthy children ... Keeping Children Safe

Love Our Children USA™ is the national nonprofit leader in breaking the cycle of violence against children. The organization has become 'the Go-To' prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S.

Since 1999, Love Our Children USA has paved the way in the prevention of violence and neglect against children … keeping children safe and strengthening families.Love Our Children USA eliminates behaviors that keep kids from reaching their potential. We redefine parenting and create kid success with prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and familyattitudes and behaviors through public education. Honoring andrespecting children of all ages ... empowering and supporting kids, teens, parents and families through information, resources, advocacy and online mentoring. Our goal is to keep children safe and strengthen families -- Our message is positive ... one of prevention, empowerment and hope.

The funds we receive go towards: Assisting Children and Families with Information and Resources, Public Education, Community Outreach and Awareness, Youth For Youth Partnership, National Love Our Children Day, Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention, Internet Safety, Positive Parenting Education, National District Attorney's Child Protection Task Force, Darko Rapotez Memorial College Scholarship Fund For Aged Out Foster Youth, National Block Parenting Progam, Youth Safety Programs, a Wish Program for child victims and foster kids, creating a 24 Hour Toll-Free Hotline, Speaker Bureaus and Advocacy. Funds enable us to produce and distribute over 35 guides for parents and children, maintain and enhance our extensive web resources, conduct the necessary research to help us focus on the trends of violence against children and produce effective anti-violence messages.

Take time to learn more at: http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/index.php You can follow them on Twitter and Facebook too!

Sue Scheff: ADHD Medication or Alternatives?

As many people know, I have an ADHD son. Way back when he was diagnosed, it was something we didn’t quickly decide. There are alternatives to medications, such as The Feingold Program, and depending on each family and their lifestyle, it is a personal decision. For us, medication worked the best, however I am very open minded that each child is different and if this is something you are contemplating, take your time to do your research. My son is older now and doesn’t take the medication any longer, so in our case, he did grow out of it. By his first year of college, he discovered he was able to continue his studies without medication. He will be finishing his 4 year degree next year and continuing to medical school. I say this as a proud mother, but also to let you know that whatever your decision is right for your family, they can be success.

Source: ADDitude Magazine

Making the decision can be tough… Consider this expert advice when determining whether ADHD medication or an alternative treatment is right for your child.
by Edward Hallowell, M.D.

After a child is diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), one of the most difficult decisions for a parent to make is whether to start him or her on medication. I’ve been there myself. Two of my three children have ADHD, and, although my wife and I eventually decided to try medication — which, by the way, has helped both of them immensely without any side effects — arriving at that decision took careful reflection.

When it was suggested that my kids try medication, I had my concerns. I know that ADHD drugs are safe and effective, but I worried that perhaps, for some unknown reason, they might harm my children’s health. Although stimulant medications have been with us for more than 60 years, I wondered if some new side effect might emerge.

I countered those concerns by worrying about the potential “side effects” of not taking the medication: namely, my children struggling to stay focused and getting frustrated when they couldn’t. After envisioning that scenario, the decision became far less difficult.

Take your time

Each parent — and child — comes to the question of medication with different assumptions. My strong advice is to take your time, honor your feelings, and find a doctor who will remain patient, a professional who will provide information — not hurried commands — as you wrestle with your decision.

From a medical standpoint, the decision is obvious. Medication is by far the most proven, safe, and effective treatment for ADHD. Careful, controlled studies have established that a trial of medication makes sense once the diagnosis is made. Remember that a trial of medication is just that — a trial. Unlike surgery, it can be undone. If the medication doesn’t work or if it produces side effects, the physician can reduce the dosage or discontinue it. No harm done. But unless your child tries the medication, you will never know if it can benefit him or her as it has other children and adults.

Do some fact-finding

From a personal, parental standpoint, though, the decision is anything but easy. It takes time and requires talking with your doctor and other experts. You might want to research the medication online and find out what the latest studies conclude about it. Get all the facts, and make a scientific, rather than a superstitious, decision. But I urge you never to start your child on medication until you’re comfortable doing so. Don’t feel that you’re trying your doctor’s patience or that your questions are foolish. Nothing done out of love for your child is foolish.
However, I also urge you not to reject medication out of hand. Many parents have heard so many bad things about ADHD drugs that they’re willing to travel to Tibet to find an alternative treatment before giving medication a try. It’s very important to do your homework and separate the facts from the myths before dismissing the treatment.

Honor your feelings

When I give lectures, people often ask me if I “believe in” medication for children and adults with ADHD. My reply is that medication isn’t a religious principle; it’s a medical treatment. My feelings about ADHD medications are similar to those about medications in general: They’re great when they’re used properly, and they’re dangerous when they’re not.
Sometimes it takes months or even years before parents decide to put their child on medication. Every parent has his or her own timetable. Stick with yours.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drug Use

More from SAMSHA:

SAMSHA has created a site (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx ) that provides quick links to information in packaged bundles, available for quick download or mail order. These resources provide tips for families and educators to talk to teens about drug use. This is a great opportunity to access legitimate research and gather additional facts on signs and symptoms of drug use, tips for addressing teen use of hallucinogens, club drugs, heroin, and methamphetamines, and family guides (also available in Spanish) designed to facilitate a healthy and open discussion about raising drug free teens.

Quick, easy to read information is available, such as these signs of possible drug use:

• Skipping classes or not doing well in school
• Unusual odors on their clothes or in their room
• Hostility or lack of cooperation
• Physical changes (red eyes, runny nose)
• Borrowing money often, or suddenly having extra cash
• Lack of interest in activities
• Significant mood changes
• Loss of interest in personal appearance
• Change in friends
• Heightened secrecy about actions or possessions

Our website (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx ) will provide the information needed to arm yourself with the right tools to quickly and easily get the facts you need to talk to teens about drugs. If you like, you can download a free badge that you can add to your blog to show your support for education and communication around teen drug use. The badge will link directly to SAMSHA’s resources and provide a quick reference guide for your readers.

received an email from a mother that almost lost her son to this game. She is now part of an advocacy group to help inform and educate others about this choking game. She understands she almost lost her son, as a matter of fact, she thought she had. Miraculously, her son survived after several days in a coma following this incident. As a parent advocate, I always encourage others to share their stories, mistakes, experiences etc in an effort to help others. This is one of the many parents that is hoping you will learn from her firsthand experiences.

Source: G.A.S.P.

It’s not a game at all—just an act of suffocating on purpose.

Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate.

When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time.

Personal Note from this Mother:

Holding my son, as he took his first breath of life, for the second time took my breath away. He got a second chance to make a better choice. What I witnessed defies logic and reason. I made a choice to quit trying to understand, and instead pour my passionate gratitude for his life into advocacy work - to be a ripple in the wave of some much needed change. Stopping this behavior only starts with awareness. Ed4Ed is a program of education for educators. I consider all who possess knowledge, all upon acquiring it who connect with youth, care for and/or guide them, are then in turn ambassadors of that truth – incumbent educators.

When I am personally presenting from the materials of the program, I conclude by passing that torch to those with whom I speak. This deadly activity, masquerading as a “game” is an international problem, with a simple solution, educate! Give our kids the facts and they’ll make a better choice. Once he became aware of what had happened, Levi just shook his head and said “I didn’t know, Mom. People pass out all the time. I didn’t know.” Not one boy in the 500 that attended his boarding school knew the facts. They studied physics, science, biology and anatomy. None thought of it as anything more than a parlor trick, something new to try, not drugs, not alcohol – just a game. When we know better, we do better. When they know better, they will too.

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