Saturday, July 25, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen and Kids Book Clubs


As parents, we need to start our kids young and get them interested in reading and books. Many local libraries can offer book clubs, as well as online social book clubs. Here are some great parenting tips.


“You can see the book from everybody else’s perspective and get their opinions on certain things in the book.”

– Antonia McManus, 16 years old, discussing what she enjoys about book clubs

Thanks to online communities and social networking sites, today young people are using new ways to rediscover an old pastime … talking about books in a book club. Even old fashioned face-to-face book clubs are enjoying a resurgence.

It’s a Saturday afternoon…and instead of sleeping late or watching TV, this group of kids are talking about books.

In fact, book clubs are becoming more popular among American kids.

11-year-old Kenya read about singer Lena Horne, who was the first African-American pin-up girl. “It was just amazing to see a black women as the star and not just a mammy or a maid,” she says.

But did all these kids come enthusiastically?

No, not exactly.

“I was like ‘book club, uh, I don’t know,’ but – so, I was just trying it out. My mom didn’t make me, but I just tried it out,” says 16-year-old Antonio.

And if they’ll try it, the experts say, there are ways to get them to come back.

“Make it fun, serve pizza, serve brownies, have door prizes,” says Carla McManus, the president of Sisters and Brothers of Hotlanta Book Club.

She says it also helps to connect books to the real world. “We talk about things that are happening in the community, so you can relate whatever you’ve read in the book to what’s happening now.”

Here they have long talks about the books they have selected, which most kids don’t get to do when they’re in school.

“I mean, they’ll talk about the Civil War, maybe, but you don’t learn specifically on specific black people and what they’ve done,” says Antonio.

“There’s not a lot of history- African-American history being taught in the schools,” says McManus. “If you don’t know your history you are bound to repeat it and I want the children to understand and be familiar with where they’ve come from so that we will not repeat history.”

And these kids say, book clubs work – they’re learning to love books and love reading.

“I feel like I’m actually in the book and doing what the actual main character is doing,” says 13-year-old Justin.

16-year-old Antonia says reading gives her a nice break from the day, “It gives me time to sometimes get my mind straight and get away from the world and just sit down and read a book.”

Tips for Parents

Fewer teens are reading for fun today than in 1971. That statistic from the National Assessment for Educational Progress (NAEP) is significant because reading for fun is considered an important factor in improving teens’ reading comprehension. Although the literacy movement in the United States is strong, the American Library Association (ALA) says it is focused primarily on elementary school-aged children.

“Reading development is a continuum,” according to the ALA, “yet emphasis on literacy decreases after elementary school.”

Consider these facts about teens and reading from the NAEP:

■The latest reading test scores from the NAEP show that children scored lower in reading than in 1992.
■The percentage of students performing at or above Basic decreased from 80 percent in 1992 to
73 percent in 2005, and the percentage of students performing at or above the Proficient level decreased from 40 to 35 percent over the same period of time.
■Higher average reading scores were generally associated with higher levels of parental education. Students who reported that at least one parent graduated from college scored higher than students who reported lower levels of parental education.
■In 2005, female twelfth-grade students scored 13 points higher on average in reading than male students.
The Rand Reading Study Group cites this additional reading research:

■All high school graduates are facing an increased need for a high degree of literacy, including the capacity to comprehend complex texts, but comprehension outcomes are not improving.
■Unacceptable gaps in reading performance persist between children in different demographic groups. The growing diversity of the U.S. population will likely widen those gaps even further.
How can teens improve their reading skills and learn to enjoy reading more? The ALA says that parents and teachers need to help teens realize the value of reading in their lives by providing them with the following elements:

■Time: Teens need specific opportunities to schedule reading into their days.■Choice: Choosing their own reading materials is important to adolescents who are seeking independence.■Support: Time and choice mean little if no support exists. Support includes actions like bringing books to the classroom, arousing children’s interest in reading, reading aloud selections and fostering student-to-student and student-to-adult conversations about what is read.
Ten million American children have difficulties learning to read, according to the National Institute of Child Health and Development (NICHD). Of those, 10-15% eventually drop out of school, and only 2% complete a four-year college program.

Children with reading difficulties stop and start reading frequently (known as choppy reading), mispronouncing some words and skipping others entirely. They soon grow ashamed as they struggle with a skill their fellow students seem to master easily. Reading-impaired children also experience difficulty exploring science, history, literature, mathematics and other information that is available in print.

NICHD research shows that reading disabilities affect boys and girls at about the same rate. However, boys are more likely to be referred for treatment since they are more likely to get the teacher’s attention by misbehaving. Reading disabled girls may escape the teacher’s attention and withdraw into themselves.

References
■American Library Association
■National Institute of Child Health and Development
■National Institute for Literacy ■Rand Reading Study Group

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teenage Acne




According to a recent survey, more than half of teens (59%) said that they would be willing to stay off Facebook for a year if they could get rid of their acne forever! What’s more – 13% would actually pick one of their parents as a prom date to be zit-free for the rest of their lives! June marks the first-ever National Acne Awareness Month – the perfect time to help teens take control of their acne.


There are so many myths surrounding acne - that people with acne don’t wash their faces and/or eat poorly. But the truth is, even the cleanest and healthiest of us can be prone to getting acne! In fact, acne is a medical condition that can be treated, and has little to do with diet or cleanliness habits.


The AARS, with support from Galderma Laboratories, has developed a special announcement to educate teens on how to take control of their acne: to inform everyone on ways to take action when acne takes a hold of their lives:



Want more? Visit the brand new Web site, http://www.acnesociety.org/, designed to help you get educated on ways to treat and prevent acne. Help to spread the word about National Acne Awareness Month. The best defense is a well-informed offense!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sue Scheff: Do you know your teens friends?




One of the more nerve-racking part of raising teenagers is their friends. That’s because friends are profoundly influential to our kids. And, sometimes they look and act funny and as a parent you just don’t know what to think. No longer are WE the main source of information and influence (although I’d like to think the influence we wield is stronger - forgive me if I’m delusional)


Giving this some thought, I decided to research the subject and I put my comments in italics next to the “experts”. Here are the changes from tween to teen (when it comes to friendships):
They spend more time with their peers/in person and online (that would include 1000’s of texts that burn up a cell phone)


They are more mobile than when younger so more time is spent with peers without parental supervision (God help me when ALL the friends have a driver’s license, I may just have to be committed)


Increased contact with opposite-sex peers (It’s good you say? Yes, you’re right for girls, not so much for boys - see below. Heck, we don’t have much control over this any way)


In the early teen years, small groups of friends or cliques are formed which can help or hurt depending on your child’s association. ( I read this and all I could think of was the “Mean Girls” )


Another feature of the teen years is the emergence of crowds. Teens use crowds to figure out who to associate with.


Crowds help teens sort peers into groups of people they would like to spend time with and those they wouldn’t.


Through crowds and cliques, teens show other people who they are. (OK, this one doesn’t exactly make sense - what about the huge number of grown men who attend stadium- sporting events?)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts



Parent's Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.™) is an organization that was founded in 2001 by Sue Scheff. For the past several years Parent's Universal Resource's has assisted families with valuable information and resources for their children and teens that are at risk. Teens that are struggling with today's peer pressure, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and simply good kids starting to make bad choices. We have many very satisfied families that have used our services. Please take a moment to read some of our testimonials.


Whether you are seeking Boarding Schools, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, Wilderness Programs, Christian Schools, Summer Programs, Military Schools and more, Parent's Universal Resource's can offer you options to explore to help educate you in a very important decision for your child and family. We invite you to fill out a Free Consultation Form for more information.


Parent's Universal Resource Expert's™ are parents helping parents. As a parent that experienced and survived a difficult teen, we believe that desperate parents are at high risk of making rash and detrimental decisions in choosing the best placement for their child. Please take a moment to read my story - "A Parent's True Story" - which is one the reasons this organization was created.


As a member of the Better Business Bureau for many years we are an organization that prides ourselves in helping others and bringing families back together.


There are many Doctors, Attorney's, Therapists, Police Departments, Schools, Guidance Counselors, and other professionals that refer Parent's Universal Resource's to families. In many cases, after a family has used our service, they recommend us to their friends and relatives. We have built our reputation on trust and putting families first. At Parent's Universal Resource's we believe in bringing families back together.


In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:


Helping Teens - not Harming Them

Building them up - not Breaking them down

Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive

Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen

Protect Children - not Punish them

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sue Scheff: Alcohol and The Teen Brain




“And one important difference we found…was that the kids with the heavy drinking patterns were not able to retain as much information as the kids who were non-drinkers.”
– Susan Tapert, Ph.D., clinical psychologist


16-year-old Veronica Dyer is taking part in a long-term study. The National Institutes of Health is examining the effects of alcohol on the teenage brain.


“And one important difference we found…was that the kids with the heavy drinking patterns were not able to retain as much information as the kids who were non-drinkers,“ says Susan Tapert, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist involved in the study.


“The subject on the left is a normal, healthy 15-year-old boy,” says Tapert, as she looks as brain images, “and the subject on the right is a 15-year-old boy who is actually a very heavy drinker. You can see that this is a really important area of the brain for remembering locations of things, and over here – nothing. [The heavy drinker] is not using these important brain areas to do this task, and as a result he actually didn’t perform as well on the task.”


Teens who drink twice a week consistently scored an average of ten percent lower on short-term memory tests, compared to non-drinkers.


In other words, says Tapert, “the heavy drinker is more likely to get a B, whereas the non-drinker would be able to get an A. So it’s kind of that amount of a difference.”
16-year-old K.T. Taylor says she’s been drinking heavily for four years. Now in rehab, Taylor says the alcohol has affected her memory.


“Yeah, my memory changed a lot,” she says. “I can’t remember anything anymore. I still do good on my tests – it’s just more effort than I used to have to put into it.”
Has K.T. suffered any long-term damage from drinking? No one knows. But Veronica isn’t taking that risk.


“I personally have never drunken even an entire drink of alcohol,” she says. “A lot of my friends have and I have seen how it affected them. They’re slower in school and that’s all they think about doing. And they become addicted to it in a way and I don’t want to be into that, so I don’t do it.”


Tips for Parents


Research shows that adolescents may be more vulnerable to brain damage from excessive drinking than older drinkers. Alcohol impairs brain activity in the receptors responsible for memory and learning, and young people who binge drink could be facing serious brain damage today and increased memory loss in years to come. If one begins drinking at an early age, he/she is more likely to face alcohol addiction. Consider the following …


Imaging studies have revealed a connection between heavy drinking and physical brain damage.
Neither chronic liver disease nor alcohol-induced dementia, the most common symptoms of severe alcoholism, need be present for alcohol-induced, physical brain damage to occur.
Alcohol-induced brain damage usually includes extensive shrinkage in the cortex of the frontal lobe, which is the site of higher intellectual functions.


Shrinkage has also been observed in deeper brain regions, including the cerebellum, which helps regulate coordination and balance, and brain structures associated with memory.


Alcohol abstinence has shown positive results. Even three to four weeks without alcohol can reverse effects on memory loss and problem-solving skills.


Adolescents have a better chance of recovery because they have greater powers of recuperation. If you suspect your child has alcohol-related brain damage, it is imperative to have him or her assessed by a medical doctor or psychologist. Treatment depends on the individual and the type of brain damage sustained. People with impaired brain function can be helped. Often it is necessary to reduce the demands placed on the patient. Also, a predictable routine covering all daily activities can help. Consider the following points when easing your child’s routine …
Simplify information. Present one idea at a time.


Tackle one problem at a time.


Allow your child to progress at his or her own pace.
Minimize distractions.
Avoid stressful situations.
Structure a schedule with frequent breaks and rest periods.
Consider joining an alcoholism support group.


References
Alcoholism Home Page
Better Health Channel
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
Psychological Assessment Research and Treatment Services
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teens, Parenting and Cyber Safety

Source: TeensHealth

Bullies and mean girls have been around forever, but technology has given them a whole new platform for their actions. As adults, we're becoming more aware that the "sticks and stones" adage no longer holds true; virtual name-calling can have real-world effects on the well being of kids and teens.

It's not always easy to know how and when to step in as a parent. For starters, our kids tend to use technology differently than we do. Many spend a lot of time on social networking sites, send text messages and instant messages (IMs) by the hundreds, and are likely to roll their eyes at the mention of email — that's "so old-school" to them. Their knowledge and habits can be intimidating, but they still need us as parents.

Fortunately, our growing awareness of cyberbullying has helped us learn a lot more about how to prevent it. Here are some suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child's life.

What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be clear-cut. For example, leaving overtly cruel cell phone text messages or mean notes posted to Web sites. Other acts are less obvious, such as impersonating a victim online or posting personal information or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another child.

Cyberbullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one teen's joke or sense of humor could be another's devastating insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental.

A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise.

Read more: http://teenshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/cyberbullying.html

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sue Scheff: Love our Children USA - Take Time to Reach Out and Help a Child in Need Today


THE ISSUE:Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8 million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day 1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators, 1 out of 4 kids are bullied and 42% of kids are cyberbullied.


THE SOLUTION: PREVENTION! Getting to the root of the cause through education and changing behaviors and attitudes. Loving and nurturing children. Stopping Violence BEFORE itstarts -- creating happy and healthy children ... Keeping Children Safe
Love Our Children USA™ is the national nonprofit leader in breaking the cycle of violence against children. The organization has become 'the Go-To' prevention organization for all forms of violence and neglect against children in the U.S.

Since 1999, Love Our Children USA has paved the way in the prevention of violence and neglect against children … keeping children safe and strengthening families.Love Our Children USA eliminates behaviors that keep kids from reaching their potential. We redefine parenting and create kid success with prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and familyattitudes and behaviors through public education. Honoring andrespecting children of all ages ... empowering and supporting kids, teens, parents and families through information, resources, advocacy and online mentoring. Our goal is to keep children safe and strengthen families -- Our message is positive ... one of prevention, empowerment and hope.

The funds we receive go towards: Assisting Children and Families with Information and Resources, Public Education, Community Outreach and Awareness, Youth For Youth Partnership, National Love Our Children Day, Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention, Internet Safety, Positive Parenting Education, National District Attorney's Child Protection Task Force, Darko Rapotez Memorial College Scholarship Fund For Aged Out Foster Youth, National Block Parenting Progam, Youth Safety Programs, a Wish Program for child victims and foster kids, creating a 24 Hour Toll-Free Hotline, Speaker Bureaus and Advocacy. Funds enable us to produce and distribute over 35 guides for parents and children, maintain and enhance our extensive web resources, conduct the necessary research to help us focus on the trends of violence against children and produce effective anti-violence messages.
Take time to learn more at: http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/index.php You can follow them on Twitter and Facebook too!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sue Scheff: ADHD Medication or Alternatives?


As many people know, I have an ADHD son. Way back when he was diagnosed, it was something we didn’t quickly decide. There are alternatives to medications, such as The Feingold Program, and depending on each family and their lifestyle, it is a personal decision. For us, medication worked the best, however I am very open minded that each child is different and if this is something you are contemplating, take your time to do your research. My son is older now and doesn’t take the medication any longer, so in our case, he did grow out of it. By his first year of college, he discovered he was able to continue his studies without medication. He will be finishing his 4 year degree next year and continuing to medical school. I say this as a proud mother, but also to let you know that whatever your decision is right for your family, they can be success.




Making the decision can be tough… Consider this expert advice when determining whether ADHD medication or an alternative treatment is right for your child.
by Edward Hallowell, M.D.


After a child is diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), one of the most difficult decisions for a parent to make is whether to start him or her on medication. I’ve been there myself. Two of my three children have ADHD, and, although my wife and I eventually decided to try medication — which, by the way, has helped both of them immensely without any side effects — arriving at that decision took careful reflection.


When it was suggested that my kids try medication, I had my concerns. I know that ADHD drugs are safe and effective, but I worried that perhaps, for some unknown reason, they might harm my children’s health. Although stimulant medications have been with us for more than 60 years, I wondered if some new side effect might emerge.


I countered those concerns by worrying about the potential “side effects” of not taking the medication: namely, my children struggling to stay focused and getting frustrated when they couldn’t. After envisioning that scenario, the decision became far less difficult.


Take your time


Each parent — and child — comes to the question of medication with different assumptions. My strong advice is to take your time, honor your feelings, and find a doctor who will remain patient, a professional who will provide information — not hurried commands — as you wrestle with your decision.


From a medical standpoint, the decision is obvious. Medication is by far the most proven, safe, and effective treatment for ADHD. Careful, controlled studies have established that a trial of medication makes sense once the diagnosis is made. Remember that a trial of medication is just that — a trial. Unlike surgery, it can be undone. If the medication doesn’t work or if it produces side effects, the physician can reduce the dosage or discontinue it. No harm done. But unless your child tries the medication, you will never know if it can benefit him or her as it has other children and adults.


Do some fact-finding


From a personal, parental standpoint, though, the decision is anything but easy. It takes time and requires talking with your doctor and other experts. You might want to research the medication online and find out what the latest studies conclude about it. Get all the facts, and make a scientific, rather than a superstitious, decision. But I urge you never to start your child on medication until you’re comfortable doing so. Don’t feel that you’re trying your doctor’s patience or that your questions are foolish. Nothing done out of love for your child is foolish.
However, I also urge you not to reject medication out of hand. Many parents have heard so many bad things about ADHD drugs that they’re willing to travel to Tibet to find an alternative treatment before giving medication a try. It’s very important to do your homework and separate the facts from the myths before dismissing the treatment.


Honor your feelings


When I give lectures, people often ask me if I “believe in” medication for children and adults with ADHD. My reply is that medication isn’t a religious principle; it’s a medical treatment. My feelings about ADHD medications are similar to those about medications in general: They’re great when they’re used properly, and they’re dangerous when they’re not.
Sometimes it takes months or even years before parents decide to put their child on medication. Every parent has his or her own timetable. Stick with yours.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drug Use


More from SAMSHA:

SAMSHA has created a site (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx ) that provides quick links to information in packaged bundles, available for quick download or mail order. These resources provide tips for families and educators to talk to teens about drug use. This is a great opportunity to access legitimate research and gather additional facts on signs and symptoms of drug use, tips for addressing teen use of hallucinogens, club drugs, heroin, and methamphetamines, and family guides (also available in Spanish) designed to facilitate a healthy and open discussion about raising drug free teens.

Quick, easy to read information is available, such as these signs of possible drug use:

• Skipping classes or not doing well in school
• Unusual odors on their clothes or in their room
• Hostility or lack of cooperation
• Physical changes (red eyes, runny nose)
• Borrowing money often, or suddenly having extra cash
• Lack of interest in activities
• Significant mood changes
• Loss of interest in personal appearance
• Change in friends
• Heightened secrecy about actions or possessions

Our website (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx ) will provide the information needed to arm yourself with the right tools to quickly and easily get the facts you need to talk to teens about drugs. If you like, you can download a free badge that you can add to your blog to show your support for education and communication around teen drug use. The badge will link directly to SAMSHA’s resources and provide a quick reference guide for your readers.

Friday, April 3, 2009


received an email from a mother that almost lost her son to this game. She is now part of an advocacy group to help inform and educate others about this choking game. She understands she almost lost her son, as a matter of fact, she thought she had. Miraculously, her son survived after several days in a coma following this incident. As a parent advocate, I always encourage others to share their stories, mistakes, experiences etc in an effort to help others. This is one of the many parents that is hoping you will learn from her firsthand experiences.

Source: G.A.S.P.

It’s not a game at all—just an act of suffocating on purpose.

Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate.

When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time.
Personal Note from this Mother:
Holding my son, as he took his first breath of life, for the second time took my breath away. He got a second chance to make a better choice. What I witnessed defies logic and reason. I made a choice to quit trying to understand, and instead pour my passionate gratitude for his life into advocacy work - to be a ripple in the wave of some much needed change. Stopping this behavior only starts with awareness. Ed4Ed is a program of education for educators. I consider all who possess knowledge, all upon acquiring it who connect with youth, care for and/or guide them, are then in turn ambassadors of that truth – incumbent educators.
When I am personally presenting from the materials of the program, I conclude by passing that torch to those with whom I speak. This deadly activity, masquerading as a “game” is an international problem, with a simple solution, educate! Give our kids the facts and they’ll make a better choice. Once he became aware of what had happened, Levi just shook his head and said “I didn’t know, Mom. People pass out all the time. I didn’t know.” Not one boy in the 500 that attended his boarding school knew the facts. They studied physics, science, biology and anatomy. None thought of it as anything more than a parlor trick, something new to try, not drugs, not alcohol – just a game. When we know better, we do better. When they know better, they will too.
http://www.adobe.com/products/reader * Version 9*Videos - are created in an MPEG-4 Movie FormatQuick Time - Is a compatible free downloadable software, - Current Version 7.6http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Truancy


As summer is approaching, truancy (skipping school) can be on the rise. Teens are anxious to start their summer break a bit early without realizing the consequences. Take time to learn more about Teen Truancy.


Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate "excused" absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school's handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.


Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student's education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent's self-esteem.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Sue Scheff: Stop Online Violence with Kids


Violence against children is completely preventable!

Get Angry And SAVE A Child.

Reporting Online Crime Against Children

Keeping kids safe from harm and violence is up to everyone of us!

Be Informed ... Be Involved ...Make a Difference in a Child's Life

Violence against children only ends when a child comes forward or a concerned person recognizes the warning signs and reports the abuse.

Sometimes, people may fear getting personally involved or they may be in denial of a child they know who is being hurt. Child violence is a problem on the national and local levels that requires action in the form of caring individuals in each community.

And now the Internet has become a real danger to kids of all ages.

A person’s actions, or lack of action, not only affects the abused child, but everyone in our country.

Click Here To Report Non-Online Violence Against Children

Reporting Internet Crime

http://www.cybertipline.com

The Cybertipline handles leads on a variety of Internet criminal activity and is forwarded to law enforcement. Learn what you can do if you suspect illegal or dangerous activity online.

You can file reports at http://www.cybertipline.com or call your local police force or law enforcement agency, i f you know a child who is in danger or at risk of an online crime.

Definition of Online Crimes

Possession, Manufacture, and Distribution of Child Pornography
Child pornography has been defined under federal statute as a visual depiction of a minor (child younger than 18) engaged in sexually explicit conduct

Online Enticement of Children for Sexual Acts
Use of the Internet to entice, invite, or persuade a child to meet for sexual acts, or to help arrange such a meeting, is a serious offense

Prostitution of Children

Prostitution is generally defined as performing, offering, or agreeing to perform a sexual act for any money, property, token, object, article, or anything of value

Sex Tourism Involving Children

It is against the law for any United States citizen to travel abroad to engage in sexual activity with any child under the age of 18. Individuals who partake in this illegal activity are subject to prosecution in the United States even if they committed the crime on foreign soil.

Child Sexual Molestation (not in the family)
Child sexual exploitation (not in the family), also known as extra-familial child sexual abuse, includes all sexual exploitation of a child by someone other than a family member.

Unsolicited Obscene Material Sent to a Child

It is an unfortunate reality of the Internet that children will encounter obscene aterial online. Many times this material is attached as an image(s) or hyperlink(s) sent to a child in an unsolicited E-mail or “spam.”

To combat this problem NCMEC takes reports of unsolicited obscene material sent to a child. It is a violation of criminal law for any person to knowingly or attempt to send or transfer obscene material to another individual who has not attained the age of 16 years

Please report any incidents where a child may have received visual depictions of persons engaging in sexually explicit conduct that is obscene.

If you are an adult who is concerned about adult obscenity not involving children on the Internet, please make a report to www.obscenitycrimes.org.

Misleading Domain Name

It is a federal offense to use a misleading domain name on the Internet with the intent to deceive a minor into viewing material that is harmful to minors, regardless of whether the material meets the legal definition of obscenity. Please report the use of a misleading domain name that has directed a child to a web site containing harmful materials to children.

Adults who are concerned about obscenity that has not been accessed by a child on the Internet may file a report at www.obscenitycrimes.org .



REPORT ALL VIOLENCE AGAINST CHILDREN!
.
Facts You Should Know About Violence Against Children

Forms of Violence and Neglect Against Children

What Makes People Harm and Neglect Children

What You Can Do To Help

Resources To Help You

Purchase A Blue Ribbon

DONATE Love Our Children USA depends on donations from individuals like you. Your generosity and support will help us fulfill our mission of breaking the cycle of violence against children and, help to increase programs to protect children and strengthen families in every community.

It's Time To Break The Cycle of Violence Against Children ... Before It Starts!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - eNotes


One of the best things about being an active parent advocate is when other parents email me different parenting websites, links, articles, Blogs and more that they would like me to share with others. Just yesterday I was forwarded this website that can help you better educate your child. Check out http://www.enotes.com/ and see how they can assist you!


The students can get free homework help in the Q and A area from real teachers, and the literature resources are great for getting in-depth help.


What is eNotes.com?


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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teenage Girls and Building their Self Esteem


Debra Beck, a mentor for teens and author, has created a wonderful and engaging website to help parents of today's young teen girls.


Her book, My Feet Aren't Ugly, offers tools and information to help you help your child build their self esteem and feel good about who they are.


About Debra:


For fifteen years, Debra Beck has done workshops with Girl Power, a program sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that is dedicated to helping “encourage and motivate eleven- to sixteen-year-old girls to make the most of their lives.” Her book "My Feet Aren't Ugly" will resonate with teenage girls and their parents equally for its sound advice and helpful suggestions, based on the author's own experiences.


Learn more at her website at http://www.myfeetarentugly.com/

Friday, February 20, 2009

Sue Scheff: Learn More About Bullying at Free Webinar


Bullying is part of your child’s life – find out how to reduce it in your neighborhood, at school, and online.


Education.com and the American Association of School Administrators (AASA) invite all parents to participate in a powerful and free web seminar that will reveal common myths surrounding bullying, the real facts, and actions parents can take to reduce bullying. The web seminar will be delivered by renowned bullying expert Dr. Shelly Hymel, PhD who will present a highly interactive session with plenty of time devoted to answering participants’ questions. Don’t miss this event – chances are your child is experiencing bullying. This is your chance to find out how you can help.


When: Wednesday, February 25, 2009 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM PST

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sue Scheff: Positive Parenting




Knowing that the world we live in today is very different, Love Our Children USA recognizes that we must redefine parenting.


No one is a perfect parent and there is no magical way to raise children. And we know kids can be challenging!


Parenthood and caring for a child is a gift bestowed upon us which comes with the greatest responsibility and pledge … to guarantee the safety, nurturing, loving environment and physical and emotional wellness of our children … for ALL children!


Anyone and everyone can learn good parenting skills. Even parents who are overwhelmed, or alone. The first three years of your child’s life are crucial. Those are the years that your child will develop significant intellectual, emotional and social abilities. That’s when they learn to give and accept love. They learn confidence, security, and empathy … they learn to be curious and persistent …everything your child needs to learn to relate well to others, and lead a happy and productive life. The first three years are the doorway to forever!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sue Scheff: Bullying, Obesity, Friendship, Family and Grumble Bluff


I just read the most lovely and educational book called Grumble Bluff by Karen Bessey Pease. This tale tells of two young girls in that difficult and awkward stage of tweens - one is overweight and one has a horrific and painful situation she is living with. Both are bullied and teased relentlessly. Even reading how some kids are so mean made me feel so sad and angry on the inside.


If you are a parent of a teen or tween - buy this book today - read it and have your child read it. You will feel warm inside at the end and then anxious for the second book. Kathy and Greta (characters) will become part of your family too - and what a great way to open lines of communication between you and your kids.


Synopsis:


Katherine Anne Kirby has a problem. In fact, she has more than one! She doesn’t seem to connect with her family. She is picked on and bullied every day at school. And if that’s not enough, Kathy is fat. All in all, Kathy is miserable, but there is one place in the world where she feels peace and freedom and contentment. Grumble Bluff, a deep forested ravine with a rushing stream flowing through, is Kathy’s private sanctuary– a place that she has never shared with anyone. Then comes the day when Kathy feels compelled to intercede for a girl named Greta, who is being picked on by the same kids who have made her own life a living nightmare, and she rescues Greta from her tormentors. From that day on the girls are inseparable, and Kathy realizes something– that she hasn’t had it so bad, all along. For her best friend is coping with a problem much bigger than anything Kathy has ever had to confront. Greta’s wonderful father is dying.


In the serenity of Grumble Bluff, the girls discover the power of their friendship; how to triumph over the tragedies of life, and how to laugh again.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff- Teen Pregnancy on the Rise?


Teen birth rates up? Parents need to take steps to learn why - what can they do to help their young teens understand having a child is not easy. Before you are faced with this difficult and sensitive situations, continue opening communication about sex as well as contraceptives. Years ago a young teen getting pregnant seemed like the worst possible situation - now having unprotected sex can not only lead to pregnancy and big decisions for young teens, but deadly diseases. Take time to learn more.



“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental.”
– Laura Mee, Ph.D., Child Psychologist.


One girl gives birth to a baby. Another plays basketball with her brother. What’s the connection?


Studies show girls who play sports are less likely to have sex and less likely to get pregnant. One reason may be these athletes gain confidence and respect for their bodies.


“It does give them another way to look at themselves, and to look at their bodies as a powerful force and not just sort of ornamental,” explains child psychologist, Dr. Laura Mee.


Experts say experiencing pressure on the court gives them the strength to resist pressure from a boyfriend. And, in their free time, it gives them something else to focus on besides how they look, “Their hair, their clothes, their, like reputation… mostly all they want to do is impress the boys,” says 12-year-old Claire.


What’s more, studies have found that athletic girls have higher self-esteem, better grades and less stress.


So, experts say, encourage your daughters to get involved in sports and then cheer them on. “Make it as important that your daughters have sporting events as you would for your son that you treat them as equally as you possibly can, that you support and encourage and that the other children, whether they are male or female, support and encourage each other in their sports activities,” says Mee.

Tips for Parents


Sex is something parents should constantly discuss with their teens, but you should really give your teens “the talk” before summer and Christmas vacation. According to one study, teens are much more likely to lose their virginity during the months of June and December than any other time of the year. Almost 19,000 adolescents in grades seven through twelve participated in the survey, which identified the month they had sexual intercourse for the first time. The survey also asked if the act was with a romantic partner or was more “casual.”
The findings, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, show June as the most popular month, followed closely by December. Summer and Christmas vacations are believed to be the cause with school out and teens with time on their hands. More events are also planned in June, including high school proms, graduations and summertime parties. The “holiday season effect” makes December the second highest month for teen sex. Experts explained that during the holidays, young females in relationships are more likely to have sex. The holidays usually bring people together and make them closer. The same is true with teenagers.


All studies indicate messages from parents regarding sex are extremely important to teens (Washington State Department of Health). In fact, teens state parents as their number one resource for information on the topic. This talk may be uncomfortable for many parents, so the National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) has provided the following tips for parents:


Practice. It may take practice to feel comfortable talking about sex with your kids. Rehearsing with a friend or partner can help. Be honest. Admit to your child if talking about sex is not easy for you. You might say, “I wish I’d talked with you about sex when you were younger, but I found it difficult and kept putting it off. My parents never talked to me about it, and I wish they had.”


Pay attention. Often parents do not talk to their teens about sex because they did not notice they wanted or needed information. Not all teens ask direct questions. Teenagers are often unwilling to admit they do not know everything. Notice what is going on with your child and use that as a basis for starting a conversation about sexual topics.


Look for chances to discuss the sexual roles and attitudes of men and women with your child. Use television show, ads and articles as a start.


Listen. When you give your full attention, you show that you respect your child’s thoughts and feelings. Listening also gives you a chance to correct wrong information they may have gotten from friends. As you listen, be sensitive to unasked questions. “My friend Mary is going out on a real date,” could lead to a discussion of how to handle feelings about touching and kissing.
Parents can also share their feelings on the topic through words and actions. The best way is to talk to teens. Even though it may seem like they are not listening – they are. To have a healthy and effective discussion on sex, the Advocates for Youth Campaign encourages parents to:
Educate yourself and talk with your children about issues of sexuality. Do not forget about discussing the importance of relationships, love, and commitment.


Discuss explicitly with preadolescents and teens the value of delaying sexual initiation and the importance of love and intimacy as well as of safer sex and protecting their health.


Encourage strong decision-making skills by providing youth with age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions and to experience the consequences of those decisions. Allow young people to make mistakes and encourage them to learn from them.


Encourage teens to create a resource list of organizations to which they can turn for assistance with sexual health, and other, issues. Work together to find books and Web sites that offer accurate information.


Actively support comprehensive sexuality education in the schools. Find out what is being taught about sexuality, who is teaching it, and what your teens think about it.


Actively voice your concerns if the sexuality education being taught in local public schools is biased, discriminatory, or inaccurate, has religious content, or promotes a particular creed or denomination.


Demonstrate unconditional love and respect for your children.

References
Advocates for Youth Campaign
Journal of Marriage and Family
National Parent Teacher Association
Washington State Department of Health

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Teen Internet Addiction


Internet addiction afflictions rising each year


The internet is an incredible resource for information and entertainment, but it does have drawbacks. Besides creating an avenue for dangerous child predators to flourish, the internet has also caused a recent and misunderstood sickness to sweep across the nation. This dangerous new disease is known as Teenage Internet Addiction.


The idea of “internet addiction” began in the 1990’s to explain an unhealthy reliance on the internet that parents noticed their teens developing. Since then, the internet’s popularity explosion and use of sites like Myspace™ and Facebook™ have ushered in a new age of teenage internet addiction.


Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates realize the danger of teenage internet addiction, and adopted teens are highly susceptible because they often experience Reactive Attachment Disorder, or RAD. RAD develops when a teen is unable to attach trust and development in interpersonal relationships. RAD is caused by the confusion and pain of a child’s separation from their birth mother. Even a child adopted early in life can experience dramatic RAD separation anxiety in their teenage years.


Sue Scheff™ has found that internet addiction increases feelings of anti-social tendencies and the inability to interact with others, much like RAD. Adoptive teens struggle to overcome RAD increases their vulnerability to internet addiction.


Teenagers should not be fearful of the internet, it is an attractive and exciting way to gather information and communicate with others, but parents must be aware of their adopted teen’s internet usage levels. Parents should never spy on their kids; instead they should focus on maintaining open lines of communication, much like they would when dealing with Primal Wound or other adopted teen issues. Parents should ask their kids about their internet habits and ask to look at their Myspace or other profile sites. Parent should never look at teenage pages or pursue web history behind teen’s backs; this can alienate your teenager even more, amplifying feelings of anxiety or RAD.


There are some signs of teenage addiction associated with internet use that Sue Scheff believes parents should be especially aware of. Some of these warning signs are very closely related to teenage depression, another condition that many adopted teens face.


When exploring the possibility of internet addiction, check if your adopted teen experiences powerful euphoric feelings while on the internet and extreme anxiety while away from it. Also check if the teen has intense cravings for the internet, always wanting to return to it. Other warning sings include adopted teens lying about their internet usage and withdrawing from past activities in favor of increased internet usage. Internet addiction’s physical effects include dry eyes, drastic changes in eating habits, increased headache or backaches from focusing on the screen, as well as sleeping problems.


Placing the family computer in an easily monitored area is a good way to prevent internet misuse. Never ban the internet, but work on a time schedule that will be fair for both you and your adopted teen. Also work to encourage non internet activity, which means forcing other family members to reduce internet usage while encouraging outdoor activities.


Adopted teens are at a high risk for internet addiction because of their problems with RAD, but if parents foster healthy family communication practices, do an honest job of trying to understand their teenagers internet needs, and let their teens know they are ready to help them if they need it, than internet addiction and its side effects can be prevented.
Learn more here.